FINDING BABY JESUS is set in Midway, Utah because it is such a unique Bavarian community. We have a small log cabin there and fell in love with the town immediately. We’re thinking about renting our cabin to vacationers, and in preparation, we recently completed the following steps to save money by building an IKEA wardrobe ourselves:
Step One: Complete intensive investigation of options on-line while still in Portland and choose a piece of furniture to fit budget.
Step Two: Fly to Utah. Take measurements and realize the first choice won’t work.
Step Three: Drive to nearest IKEA (one and a half hours away) and decide on furniture way outside of budget.
Step Four: Revise budget.
Step Five: Fill every cubic inch of rental SUV with boxes and fasteners. Drive to cabin peering through small openings between slabs of fiberboard. Worry that a sudden stop might decapitate mate.
Step Six: Begin to assemble furniture.
Step Seven: Realize that some critical fasteners are missing. Remember that life is a journey–not a destination–and make the three hour trip again to pick up a handful of special screws.
Step Eight: Continue assembly. Discover that the wardrobe is too tall to lift into place. Revise assembly process.
Step Nine: Open final box to discover that hinges for the wardrobe door are missing. Call IKEA and firmly ask why they are gone. Find out that the door requires a special hinge kit that we “probably should have been told about.”
Step Ten: Make a third trip to IKEA. Periodically hold a compress against eyes to prevent blood from squirting out of them and causing a safety hazard.
Step Eleven: Add time and travel expenses to cost of wardrobe and compare against the cost of purchasing a custom-made solid oak version.
Step Twelve: Grind teeth and count non-construction related blessings.